Relearning What I thought I Knew

Leaning on the Word- Not Myself

In my last post, I shared how connecting to my roots and my research into Chanukah led me to a realization I couldn’t ignore: not all things are clean- and more importantly, that God did not change His Law. The conviction was undeniable. Once I accepted it, I returned to the binder of notes I had accumulated over the previous nine months, ready to reexamine everything.

Nine months is actually a fitting timeline. It felt like being birthed into something new. Something genuinely fresh. My mind was reeling, yet at the same time, everything was beginning to make sense in a way it never had before.

I began with an online ministry called 119 Ministries, which identifies as Messianic and draws its name from Paul’s instruction to “test everything” in his letter to the Thessalonians. One of their studies, The Pauline Paradox, immediately caught my attention. I had already noticed how divided people are over Paul, some claiming his letters don’t align with Yeshua’s teachings, or even that they outright contradict Him.

What anchored me was the understanding that Scripture does not contradict itself. If something is true in one place, it will be true in another- even when it doesn’t appear that way at first glance. The Bible must be read as one unified story and instruction manual. Confusion enters when we isolate verses and set them against one another, instead of letting Scripture interpret Scripture.

That’s why Proverbs 3:5 has become one of my favorite verses:

Trust in YHWH with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.

– Proverbs 3:5

At first, I struggled deeply with this verse. Being autistic, I took it very literally (as I do many things); how was I supposed to understand something without understanding it? All I had was my own mind and perspective. Eventually I realized I was approaching it too narrowly.

The verse isn’t calling us to abandon thinking, but to recognize the limit of our own lens. When we view everything solely through our own personal context, experiences and assumptions, we miss the heart of what’s being revealed. Pride, after all, comes before the fall- and I knew that pride was something I needed to confront in myself.

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Asking Tough Questions

Modern Christianity often presents the idea that because of Jesus, the Old Testament is obsolete and the New Testament alone is sufficient. But that claim quickly falls apart when you realize the New Testament refers to the Old Testament roughly a thousand times; around three hundred of those being direct quotations.

Yet new believers are often handed only a New Testament bible. That really blew my mind. It’s like giving someone a list of ingredients without the instructions for the recipe, and then wondering why they struggle to complete the final dish.

Maybe that’s why I feel like I need to share this with people. There’s so much misinformation out there, so many lies and indoctrinated theology. I want to set the record straight.

Your righteousness is righteous forever, and Your Torah is true.

– Psalm 119:142

119 Ministries proposed some questions which caused me to pause and reflect:

Can something God declared to be truth for His people become not truth later?

Did God free us from freedom? (Psalm 119:44-45)

Can perfect be made more perfect? (Psalm 19:7)

Modern theology and mainstream doctrine implies the God freed us from the Law (Torah) and even often refers to it as “bondage”. But the Bible tells us Torah is Freedom. And as we know, the bible doesn’t contradict itself.

If this is stirring some confusion in your mind, rest assured, you’re not alone. What you’re experiencing is the Spirit pressing against what you’ve been taught versus what the truth actually says. That tension can be uncomfortable, but it’s often where real understanding begins.

Take a moment to consider this:

Popular does not mean correct.

God is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33).

But that doesn’t mean confusion can’t enter through human teaching, tradition or misunderstanding. It simply means confusion does not originate with Him.

As such, our faith should not rest in denominational creeds, inherited traditions or even pastors, preachers and teachers. Our trust belongs in the Word of God alone, tested, examined and understood through Scripture itself.

As for you the anointing received from Him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as His anointing teaches you about all things, and as that anointing is real not counterfeit, just as it taught you, remain in Him.

– 1 John 2:27

Don’t read that and think we don’t need teachers at all- if that were true, the Prophets, the Apostles, James ect would all have been a moot point. Simply put: We do not outsource discernment, submit blindly to authority figures, or accept teaching that contradicts what the Spirit has already confirmed- through the Word.

Teachers can instruct, but they cannot replace the Spirit. They can point, but they cannot override the truth.

There’s a reason James says not everyone should be a teacher. (James 3:1)

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The Deuteronomy 13 Test

Deuteronomy 13 (or depending on the version 12:32) starts out like this:

All that I have commanded of you be careful to observe. You shall not add to it, nor take away from it.

If there arises among you a prophet or dreamer of dreams, and he gives you a sign or a wonder, and the sign or wonder which he spoke of comes to pass, saying to you “Let us go after other gods” which you have not known “and let us serve them”, not shall you listen to the words of that prophet or that dreamer of dreams;

For is testing you YHWH your God to know whether you love YHWH your God with all your heart and with all your soul.

You shall walk after YHWH your God, and fear Him, and keep His commandments, and obey His voice, and you shall serve Him and hold fast to Him.

— Deuteronomy 12:32-13:4

To be honest, I had previously skimmed over Deuteronomy. After the Yisraelites cross the Red Sea, much of Exodus through Joshua felt like, “This doesn’t apply to me.” It all seemed repetitive, unnecessary even. I knew the commandments (thank you, Catholic school-heavy sarcasm), I knew the basic story of the golden calf incident. Teachers and Sunday classes rarely lingered on the legal sections, so I assumed they didn’t really matter.

And like many people who think that way, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Deuteronomy 13 is precisely why Yeshua (Jesus) is the Messiah.

According to Torah, if a prophet adds to, subtracts from, or alters God’s instruction- no matter how compelling the signs or wonders- they are to be identified as false, a test from God. If Yeshua had done any of those things, He would have been rejected immediately. There would have been no public ministry, no time to gather followers, no martyrdom. They wouldn’t have argued at a trial. He would have been stoned outright.

The fact that this did not happen matters.

It tells us that Yeshua did not abolish Torah, redefine it or contradict it. He upheld it and taught others how to walk it out faithfully. That is exactly why He withstood scrutiny for His whole ministry. And it gives us a frame for discernment today:

These questions aren’t about suspicion: they’re about faithfulness.

Scripture never calls us to blindly trust. It calls us to tested faith. YHWH gave His people a standard, not so we would become suspicious or fearful, but so we would remain anchored to truth. Scripture reminds us repeatedly that no teacher, no tradition, no movement- no matter how popular or well-intentioned- stands above the Word of God.

Yeshua passed that test. Every time.

And because He did, we are called to do the same: to examine what we hear, measure it against Scripture and hold fast to what is good. Not out of pride, but humility. Not to bring discourse, but to walk faithfully.

If this challenges something you’ve always assumed, that discomfort isn’t a bad thing. Growth often begins there. Keep reading. Keep testing. Keep trusting YHWH: not your own understanding, not your church’s and not mine- but His Word.