I just want to note that this is a personal testimony. I am not sharing this to glorify astrology, but to honestly reflect on my experience and the shift I went through and am still going through. I invite you to read this with an open heart and an intent to know our Father.
For a long time, I interpreted time through astrology. It wasn’t just a passing interest- I was actually a professional astrologer.
As some of you know, I am autistic- and that means that I generally need a lot of proof of something before I believe it. That comes with much research, time invested and a deep hyper fixation of craving knowledge.
When I discovered I had a knack for understanding the relationship between planets and stars in that system, it became a full framework for how I understood the world and even my own spiritual development. Internally, this belief shaped how I expected life to move. Certain months had certain “energies,” certain seasons carried predictable themes, and I would consciously organize my life around those patterns. Not just horoscopes- I would match events to daily transits. After a while, I started being able to make predictions. And that’s where it started taking over my life.
The Flaw in the System
One thing that I adhered to was moon returns- this is basically a chart that maps out how the month is going to go based on when the moon returns to your birth-moon. I had been tracking them for over a year and they were always spot on.
What led me to understand that this was a flawed system happened a few months after I started attending church and first returned to God. At that time, I still held the belief that astrology could be compatible with belief in God, because He created everything. In my immaturity, I was still in the process of unlearning pagan practices and sorting through what I believed was acceptable.
My moon return at the time had indicators suggesting I would feel an urge to purge a lot of things- to clear out clutter, old attachments, and anything spiritually or emotionally stagnant. It also carried a caution that I might regret acting on that impulse, and therefore I should resist it and wait.
Shortly after that, someone from church messaged me out of nowhere. She described a piece of art she had seen in a vision- a hamsa hand- and told me she felt strongly that she needed to warn me about it and tell me to get rid of it. I hadn’t even realized I still had that item, but I went to look for it and found it.
Whether this was a test or not- that moment triggered something in me. I immediately began purging everything I associated with my past involvement in pagan practices. Art I had collected years earlier, tarot cards, crystals tied to witchcraft, symbolic objects, candles, and anything that felt connected to that life- it all had to go. Over the next few days I went through everything I owned and removed these from my life.
The one thing I struggled with was my astrology books, along with a stack of notebooks I had spent the past 2 years filling. I felt a strong sense of loss around them, and I wrestled with it deeply. I was confused about why God would have “wasted my time”. How could I have been pulled so deeply into something that was ultimately worthless? I discussed it with my husband, who had only recently begun to believe in it as well.
In that tension, we came to a simple conclusion: if I believed I was being led by God to remove certain things from my life, and astrology was telling me the opposite direction- that I should not act- then the systems could not be aligned. I could not hold both as equally trustworthy.
So I made the decision. I put the books and notebooks in a garbage bag and threw them away.
Immediately after, something in me shifted. I felt a kind of release wash over me that I didn’t fully understand in the moment. I cried- bawled- confused, overwhelmed, and relieved all at once. But underneath that, what I felt most clearly was freedom.
After the Shift
In the aftermath of this experience, I realized something had really shifted in how I related to astrology. It wasn’t just that I stopped practicing it the same way. It was that I could no longer hold it as a stable framework for interpreting time, guidance or spiritual direction in my life. What used to feel like a system that gave me structure and certainty didn’t feel trustworthy in the same way anymore.
This wasn’t just an intellectual decision, and it didn’t really happen all at once. It was a kind of nagging feeling that I, at the time, was not experienced enough to understand was Spirit. There was a growing inner tension between what I had believed before and what I was now seeing in Scripture and in my walk with God.
What started as a fascination had developed into a full fledged obsession- a need to know what was going to happen in order to prepare. Otherwise, I would experience anxiety. There was, admittedly, a kind of seductive pull from having all the answers. Looking back now and knowing that I was dealing with undiagnosed autism, and that this was my way of feeling “safe” helps me not to feel shame about that. Or feel shame that sometimes I miss the knowing.
Because not knowing where God is leading does get hard at times.
But now, I rebuke these feelings in myself, and turn to YHVH with a desperate heart to ignore the ways of my flesh. Faith is not by what we can see or touch or feel- but the deep trust in our Father to guide us, even when the way cannot be seen. That has been my biggest test.
What stayed with me most was realizing I couldn’t- and cannot- go back to that same way of thinking without questioning it at the root. Recently, that’s made me step back and ask YHVH how I can reframe my thinking to glorify Him.
And, maybe, that was His plan all along for it.
This is going to be a two part post. I felt the urge to share this testimony recently, but I didn’t fully understand where that feeling was leading at the time.
This is less about what I came from, and more about the shift that led me to greater understanding and relationship with YHVH.
In the second part, I want to break down how I have started to reframe what I used to understand into a different structure. One that is rooted in Scripture, the Hebrew calendar, and the moedim (appointed times), and how that is reshaping the way I now see cycles and seasons.
Stay tuned ~
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